The Blood Of Love Welled Up In My Heart With A Slow Pain*
“Sometimes, when I go to bed at night, I lie awake feeling guilty.”
“Just about things I did or said that day. Ways I wasn’t nice. Especially to you. I love you but sometimes I say jerky things. I don’t know why, I just feel mean.”
“When you love someone more than anything, and they love you back, part of what that means is you can hurt them more than anyone, too. When you hurt me, I only feel bad for a short time and then I remember it hurts so badly because we love each other so much. Want to know something else?”
“Sometimes I lie awake at night and feel guilty about the same thing.”
*The title is a quote from one of Sylvia Plath’s journals. She also wrote “O love, how did you get here? O embryo” and I am completely convinced that she’d have been the only mom in the playgroup that really got me.