TCG’s Greatest Hits: The Good Girl
For those of you who don’t know, I began my illustrious (illustrious means “eating an entire box of Oreo Cakesters while wearing dirty pajamas”, right?) writing career by chronicling my adventures in retail at the blog, The Checkout Girl. The site is offline for now, but the thought of my stories sitting around, collecting dust, makes me sad, so I’ll be sharing my favorites here, on Mondays.
A woman came in today, wearing Coach rain boots, a Coach scarf, and carrying a Coach bag (how do I know this? everything was emblazoned with the very-much-about-being-seen “C” logo). She was pleasant enough, asking about flowers and talking about the weather, until she accidentally misstepped and knocked over a small display. Her whole attitude changed when I made move to help her.
“I wouldn’t have knocked that over if you hadn’t put it in such a TERRIBLE place. How is ANYBODY supposed to get around that? NOT very good planning,” she snarled, loudly.
She then tossed the scarf over her shoulder and took leave of our conversation, as I scrambled on the floor to clean up the mess.
A few minutes later a woman came behind the counter to hand me a dozen roses.
“I won’t be home for a couple of hours. I need these in a water packet.”
“Do you mean a bag?”
“No, a water packet.”
“I don’t know what that is, can you describe it to me?”
“Okay, well, it’s a bag…”
Not kidding.
She kept saying “The girl”. As in “The girl always does the water packet for me” and “The girl always gives me extra flower food” and “The girl always ties a bow around them”.
A little too loudly, I finally interrupted, “MA’AM!”
“What?”
“I AM THE GIRL.”
I put the flowers in a bag and added a some water. She watched me perform the whole operation, including turning the faucet first on then off. And, the bag is clear. It looks like you won the flowers like a goldfish at the County Fair. There should have been no more questions. But there were. She held the bag up to her face and said, “So, did you put water in here?”
I was really bummed out from dealing with the rude and the obtuse. I took a ten minute break, wherein I consumed two cups of coffee and caught up on twitter. It was a mean day there, too. People were taking little jabs at and mocking each other. It felt very high school. I shut it down and texted my friend with just this, “I wonder if being nice will ever be cool.”
She was right on board with this (her name IS Kindness Girl so duh) and we had a good text dialogue going about how revolutionary it would be if being kind were cool. I wondered if it even mattered since so many people were determined to treat others as less than.
A customer came in and interrupted the conversation, slightly annoying me. She said she was going to a funeral and needed some flowers. I am just about the worst at flower arranging, being better with the business end of selling flowers than the artistic one, and hate doing it. I cut some roses to fit the vase she had brought with her and was fussing with them when she asked me if I remembered her. Once she reminded me, I did. Too well.
She had come in the store just about a year ago, looking a total mess. She told me that her mom was dying. That day. She had been battling cancer and they were going to terminate life support and let her go. She had started to cry when telling me, but then began to sob. I made out that she wanted some flowers in the room for those who came to be with her and they had to be yellow in case there was any chance she might open her eyes and see them before she went. Yellow was her favorite color.
I died. I didn’t know this woman, and it certainly would not be looked upon favorably by my supervisors, but I put my arms around her and let her cry. She only needed a minute or two, then she composed herself, bought her flowers, and went on her way.
Here she was again, telling me that my sympathy that day had made a difference. She said that her mom had passed and she had returned to her hometown. She said that she thought about me sometimes and had shared with a few people how nice I was. Now she was back in town. With more sadness.
“I knew I had to come see you.”
Jewel said, “In the end, only kindness matters.” She might be a little bit of a snaggletooth and I don’t know that it’s the only thing that matters, but it does matter. People notice if you are nice, and it’s cool.
Also, it’s Monday, which means a new Off The Clock over at RVA News. This week, appropriately, tales of take this job and shove it.
HeatherVonsj@gmail.com
Twitter: dangermousette
/ Aug 17 2010
Rude people…grrrrrr they make me fume. I think you handled it very well. And I like the nice ending to your story!
Twitter: mecarol
/ Aug 17 2010
Sometimes rudeness is just easier *sigh*. However, once you try kindness you realize how much better it makes your life. Yes, people do remember kindness, even when it’s small.
This story gives me goosebumps.
When someone compliments me, even if it’s just about my shoes, I remember it all day. It always puts me in a better mood. : ) I should really remember to compliment other women more often.
Twitter: BettyFokker
/ Aug 17 2010
Sometimes, you have to make the gesture of kindness even if it is not ‘professional’. I am really glad you did.
Rude people are often rude because they are really angry about their life or confused. So we can pity them. But sometimes they are just dog-sucking asshats. So then we can hate them and call them poopyheads under our breath.
Twitter: onSanity
/ Aug 17 2010
I totally think that people notice. not everyone for sure, but in the end, I think yo get what you give.
I love the idea of declaring kindness the new cool. (the teenage version would be a moody, dressed in black kind kid)
damn! you had to mention the “o” word. now I’m hungry.
I’m in the throws of the hell that is preparing for a cross-continent move. Driving back from Walmart with some space bags, the image of you holding the sobbing woman entered my grumpy mind and immediately cracked me open and I started to cry. Many thanks for this. xo
Twitter: pattypunker
/ Aug 17 2010
i can’t stand loud designer logos on anything. it kills a well-made/designed article of clothing or accessory.
speaking of kills, way to kill it with kindness. i heart your big heart.
Thank you for sharing the last story with us. It is the small kindnesses that most often mean the most and stick out in our minds. It was the kindness of an absolute stranger that helped me make the 7 hour train journey back to where I was living in Scotland. While all the other women in the train station bathroom ignored me or simply stared at me while I was slumped against the wall crying rivers of tears, a girl not much younger than me sat down beside me, handed me some tissues and hugged me. I don’t know her name, I never saw her again, but for a few minutes, she anchored me and gave me the strength to put one foot in front of the other. She didn’t ask for thanks, she didn’t do it for anything more than the fact that she saw someone in need. It’s been 9 years and thousands of kilometres, but I still remember her kindness as I started my journey home to bury my friend.
Those small moments are what get us through the really big, difficult ones.
I find it so strange how people are so often rude to others in public, retail establishments, etc, but I also love how the kindness of one person always trumps the rudeness of all the others .
Twitter: thesuniverse
/ Aug 18 2010
It’s a little harder to get into the habit of being kind, particularly if you are sarcastic, as I am. But it’s so much easier on your life and it does make a huge difference in others’ lives.
Good for you for being kind.
Suniverse -
Sarcasm is my default mode. And I am lazy. But the kindness really was worth it.
The Sweetest -
I’m frequently surprised by the behavior that people think is acceptable in public. So many things are said to me that I would never think about saying to someone. Kill ‘em with kindness.
maya -
Thank you for sharing this story with me. I like to think that fighting my natural inclination to be a jerk matters. I wish more people would try it. xo
Kimiko -
Oh, honey, moving is extra hard. Wishing you some kindness along the way.
angelica -
Boo on Cakesters, yay on Double Stuf!
Sara -
Tomorrow, I’m making it my goal to give ten sincere compliments. Thank you for the inspiration.
Oh. So that’s what the C is for. Whenever I see a woman marked with a big brass C, I guess I’ve been thinking of a different word. Thanks for clearing that up. Turns out this Internet thing is good for something after all!