Discovery: Nothing Rhymes with “Vagina” But “Bagina”. Additional Discovery: “Bagina” Is Not A Word.
Earlier today, a friend and I were discussing Girl Code and how some women don’t seem to be aware of this set of rules that is, basically, the only thing standing between mankind and utter chaos. Even worse, we agreed, is when women ARE aware of, but completely disregard, The Code for the prospect of penis.
She lamented “…there needs to be a girl-version of the phrase ‘bros before hos’.” We brainstormed but couldn’t come up with anything that was, as she said, “hetero-centric”. Honestly, everything we threw out sounded like the last line of a porno just before two girls have a pillow fight. With their tongues. Fine. Good. Great, even. But, not what we were looking for.
At dinner tonight I asked the teens what THEY thought the feminine version of “bros before hos” should be.
Ideas:
Ladies before Daties (“Because you date them!” she shouted. Even though we were in a restaurant.)
Ladies before Mateys (“Because you mate them!” he shouted. Then, “Plus, pirates are cool.” Note: I am pro his use of “mate” as a verb and may steal it. “Oh, baby, I wanna mate you.”)
Wimmons before Gene Simmons
Angelina Jolies before Mangelina Brolies
Paris Hiltons before Berle comma Miltons
Feminines before Eminems
Lohans before Brohans
Courtney Coxes before Michael J. Foxes
If TV execs were smart, they would hire these kids to write a mid-season replacement. Instead, I’m guessing we’re in for another summer of “America’s Got Talent”.
“Sisters before Misters” is the generally accepted feminine equivalent.
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Twitter: Bellalarrew
/ Mar 29 2010
We always used “chicks before dicks” but some may not want to use that…
But alas, most TV execs have the capacity for original thought equivalent to that of a merino sheep…hmm, shall i avoid watching csi, bones, law and order, or the other csi tonight? The boy teen is right; pirates are cool.
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Twitter: L8enough
/ Mar 29 2010
I’m totally using: Angelina Jolies before Mangelina Brolies
not that it seems to come up often. I’m not of the school that men & women should be dating when one is married. Call me a fuddy duddy. I’m just the old skool married lady.
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Twitter: pattypunker
/ Mar 29 2010
chicks before dicks.
love wimmons before gene simmons and ladies before matey’s!
pattypunker´s last blog ..5 things that warm the cockles of my heart
Twitter: mattjh2
/ Mar 29 2010
Lohans before Brohans should become the national standard. Everyone knows that Lindsay and Ali Lohan are tight as tight can be when it comes to sisterly bonds. They will need each other for bail money, too.
MattOnFire´s last blog ..I got nothin’
How about “boobs before tubes”?
Ladies before Mateys is priceless!
I like how they came up with all those and no one mentioned chicks before dicks? But those were some crazy creative things they came up with. Do they try this hard on their homework?
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Twitter: angelynnodom
/ Mar 30 2010
I like Ladies before Mateys. How about Dolls before Balls? Chesties before Testes? Apparently I can’t get past the one feature. Anyhow, I believe my 4yo would disagree that bagina isn’t a word. Heh.
angelynn´s last blog ..Like parent, like child
Twitter: laels_mom
/ Mar 30 2010
Chicks before dicks does have a nice ring to it!
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Twitter: SueLagunatic
/ Mar 30 2010
Broads before Frauds…because most guys suck. Not all, but, you know, most.
Otherwise, I think you’ve got it covered
Girls before Churls (don’t know if people will recognize the word Churl)
Awesome – your kids are so cool!
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Christy – I had to google “churl”, but then I loved you!
Lagunatic – if you are going to use “broads”, I think you have to affect a Frank Sinatra voice. it’s, like, a law or something.
Angelynn – chesties before testes tickles me! not literally, because this is not that kind of blog but, well, you know.
MattOnFire – have you seen Noah Cyrus? Billy Ray’s girls make the Lohans look like vestal virgins!
Twitter: subWOW
/ Apr 3 2010
Wow. These are all so good! I do agree that Chics before Dicks sounds extremely “punchy”. How come they don’t print the fact that nothing rhymes with Vagina instead they are always talking about “orange”? Slry!
subWOW´s last blog ..Hope springs eternal
ladies before mateys ROCKS!!
As for rhyming with vagina… fine china is what I use — and it totally works as a substitute too. As in:
I never get out the fine china unless the company is totally worth it.
I take extra special care of my fine china.
Fine china should always be hand dried.
And if your into dating the preppy country club boy… “Oh My! My fine china has a Chip in it.”
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