Reality Bites

Dancing With Myself

By on October 9, 2017

You can only know me for ten minutes before I mention my period, and an hour before I broach masturbation. I cant judge your FQ (Friendship Quotient) properly without seeing your face when I say I ruined my favorite pants accidentally reenacting the prom scene from Carrie today or Last night I spent so much […]

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Fuck Yeah History

Pee Are The Champions

By on July 13, 2017

On top of the poopocalypse, which happens on the regs since I had my gallbladder out a year ago, I am a notorious pants pee-er from way back. I have wet myself in no less than seven states and am fully aware that its unusual to have lived over three decades and still not be […]

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Reality Bites

Pretty in Pink

By on May 9, 2017

I nodded, like I understood. Like I was right there with her. Which is, Im sure, what lead her to ask. Oh, is your daughter on her schools lacrosse team, too? No. No, shes not. Im not sure she would even know what lacrosse is; I, myself, only having the vaguest idea. We are West […]

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